The O’Reilly Tool - How to write with no substance, just abuse

I was listening to O’Reilly spin about the Helen Thomas kerfuffle that resulted from his tasteless remarks. His rhetoric was a wonderful template for insult and propaganda. To prove there is no substance but just abuse, I took out the key words and made a kind of mad-libs game with it. I have supplied some suggestions for each category, but feel free to substitute your own mad-as-hell-libs to get a real feel for how simple and powerful the O’Reilly tool really is.

First read O'Reilly's original item, transcribed from his broadcast, with a few ellipses to make it mangeable.

Political correctness gone mad, that is the subject of this evenings talking points memo. Let me introduce you to the players. First we have the far-left Media Matters website which routinely assassinates the characters of conservatives and Republicans . These guttersnipes distort the public record hoping to harm people with whom they disagree. They never scrutinize liberals. Then we have a group called the WMC which was started by Jane Fonda and Gloria Steinham among others. ...

Last week I was a racist for supporting responsible immigration reform. This week I’m a sexist ageist for poking fun at Helen Thomas. ...And please remember this. Saturday Night Live can mock Sarah Palin all day long but I can’t mock Helen Thomas. The New York Times can brand people any vile name they want but I can’t make fun of an absurd question at a Presidential press conference? That’s some system isn’t it?

Now you try it.

(Hated ideology) gone mad, that is the subject of this evenings talking points memo. Let me introduce you to the players. First we have the (extreme position) (hated organization) website which routinely assassinates the characters of (people we like) and (more people we like). These (denigrating name) distort the public record hoping to harm people with whom they disagree. They NEVER scrutinize (people we despise). Then we have a group called (another hated org.) which (show connection to) (despised opposition leader) among others.

Last week I was a (insulting label) for supporting responsible (hot-button issue). This week I’m a (insulting label) for poking fun at (opposition leader). And please remember this. (Hated organization) can mock (people we like) all day long but I can’t mock (respected person). (Loudmouth opposition tool) can brand people any vile name they want but I can’t make fun of (liberal-leaning respectable person)? That’s some system isn’t it?

You can watch the video clip and follow along at the Women's Media Center website here.